The art of blaming yourself to victory

Is it wise to take blames? Obviously NOT would be your first answer that comes to your mind. At least, that is what I have observed and learned from the people around us.

Taking blames means admitting that “It is my fault”. No one wants to take that responsibility and bear the consequences. You can be punished for that. As a result, we are conditioned to not take blames to ‘cover our backside’ (save our own ass).

Without realizing it, this mindset has become part of us. When something happened, subconsciously, our first reaction is “NOT ME”.

When you are late for meeting, it is because of the bad traffic, the bus is late, the lift is slow, can’t get a taxi, someone gets in your way, etc (I admit I am guilty of that too).

When we failed to meet deadlines in school, it is because there are too many deadlines on the same week, or the project requirements are too demanding which is taking too much time to complete, or your lecturer is not clear of the expectations, or not enough materials is provided to guide you on how to work on your project / report.

When you fail to deliver at work, that is because your boss is unreasonable, your colleagues are not helpful, you are overwhelmed with workload, not enough time, etc.

So, in order for you to be on time for meeting, the traffic must be improved, the bus must be on time, the lift must move faster and there must be more taxi waiting to pick you up.

In order for you to submit your school project on time, your lecturer must not be demanding, your project requirement guide must be crystal clear, expectation must be set in stone in a manner that you can understand, there must be sufficient materials made available as reference to guide you along for your project development.

To deliver at work, you need reasonable boss and helpful colleagues, with much reduced workload and the world have 36 hours a day instead of 24 hours a day.

Subconsciously, you are adopting a mindset that does not permit you to take control of your life. Your life is being controlled by all the other variables like the traffic, the cars, the lift, your bosses, your colleagues, and so on.

In order to change your life, first you need to take control of your life by believing that every outcome is a result of your action(s). This way, you have control over the cause of actions you wish to take. And that will alter the outcome / results.

If my boss is being difficult, is there anything I can do to change him? If my colleagues are unhelpful, how can I make myself be less dependent on them? If I only have 24 hours, how can I schedule and prioritize my task accordingly? If traffic is going to be bad, should I leave for meeting much earlier?  

When I failed my exam, instead of blaming the school for giving me a lousy teacher, or setting the exam questions in such difficult and challenging fashion, I blame myself for not working hard enough to face up to these challenges. As such, I put in the necessary effort for it, and in turn, I got first in class  as well as first in school. From a loser to a champion.

When I failed to make an impression at work, instead of blaming my boss for being such an ass, I took it upon myself to bring in the necessary results which left anyone with no excuses to not recognize my contributions.

Develop a mindset to believe that the outcome is a result of your own actions. Not other people, factors or variables. You would then be able to create any outcome that you desire as it is only distance by your own action, which you have complete control.

 In future, when you miss the plane, do not blame the plane for not waiting for you but blame yourself for being late.